I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
