So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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