I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i now understand why vodka
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
