Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
