My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
