from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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