I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Pooping to opera.
Randomize