My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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