I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i've created a new STD.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
