I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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