So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize