His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
