If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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