We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
