You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize