Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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