Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
