I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
