party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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