you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
