8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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