eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
