but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
