I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
