oh fat girl friday strikes again...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
