dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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