Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
