bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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