sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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