I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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