so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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