are you still at the devil's house?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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