Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
