thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
