He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
