what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize