you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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