Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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