i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
only if we run a train.
done.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
