Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
