I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
