all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
