Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
