I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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