Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
