Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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