in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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