He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
