I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
