don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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