I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize