The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
