I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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