How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize