i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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