I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
