Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
