one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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