I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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