with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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