i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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