she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
