I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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