The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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