who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
